What to do at Christmas if you’re divorced…
Christmas can have a way of tugging at your heart strings even if you are not a lover of all things ho ho ho. It’s a time for family, friends and celebrating spiritual and emotional blessings.
So what do you do when all of these things feel precarious and you are sad and vulnerable? Christmas can feel like salt in the wound.
But it doesn’t have to be a terrible day. It’s just a day after all! If you are not particularly religious and do not celebrate Christmas from a Christian point of view, then you can take whatever meaning you like from 25th December. If you have kids, then hopefully you will be spending some time with them over the festive period so you can enjoy celebrating your family then. If you don’t have kids, there is nothing stopping you doing whatever you like. So here are a few suggestions:
There is nothing like seeing others who are in more need than you to help you get a bit of perspective. Plus helping people out can give you a sense of purpose and joy that maybe life is not throwing at you right at this time. There are lots of charities who need help at Christmas. Try:
2. Slob Out
Why not treat Christmas like a duvet day? Take a day to yourself. Bung a pizza in the oven and get out tub after tub of Ben and Jerries and watch Box Sets, or play video games under the duvet until you doze off. Do what you so rarely get to do and take a real day off doing anything.
3. Eat Your Favourite Meal
Whose favourite meal is turkey? Hands up… Anyone? Anyone? OK thought so. Turkey is nice, don’t get me wrong, I like a turkey, I love pigs in blankets and a lovely crispy roastie, but it’s not my favourite meal. In fact there are several meals I adore – maybe a nice T-bone steak with a vat of bearnaise sauce and some fries, or anything from Ottolenghi, or a big platter of cheese with some crispy bread. Spend a day cooking if that’s your thing, or just treat yourself to a real… treat!
4. Go away
Most of us spend Christmas near to family by default, but there’s nothing to stop you going further afield. Got any trips you’ve always wanted to take? See the Northern Lights? Go to Australia and spend Christmas by the barbie? It’s yours for the taking. Get away and go and do something completely different.
5. Get someone else to do Christmas for you
Christmas traditions can be lovely but quite hard work. If you want to mark the day without the hassle, why not go to the pub, or take a spa break? Get someone else to do the hard work for you and be kind to yourself.
Take control of the day.
Whatever you do, take control of the day and make it what you want it to be. You pick the films, the meals, the entertainment, the location. It is just a day and it will pass. And it might just be really nice!
Lucy Davis is a co-founder of divorceclub.com and a TV Producer. She divorced 7 years ago. She is a passionate advocate for exploring the potential for change and creativity that can result from the trauma of divorce.